“When you’re a kid happiness is planned for you. After that?
Not so much.”
~ Ellen Steidman, Time Special Edition, The Science of Happiness
As adults we think we don’t need to focus on being happy; we have other more important things to do ……or do we?
Science continues to search for answers to what makes people happy, creates a life of more joy and brings a sense of well-being. What may not surprise you is that the research is the premise of many spiritual practices. If we are here only a short time, why not be happy? Waiting until… never creates happiness.
Each One of us Has a Mission
If your belief is you came here with a mission to make the planet a better place, then being truly happy from the inside out is something you may want to continue to master. Remember the happiness ceiling is invisible so don’t get fooled. We aren’t talking about Pollyanna happiness, but the deep welling up of being happy for no reason!
A documented, positive side effect of being happy is an increase in physical health and financial abundance. Yes, positive psychologists have conducted study after study pointing to this conclusion.
I know what you are thinking- especially now. My happiness ceiling is lower. How can I find even a ray of happiness with the political climate, the violence in the world, or personal challenges I am currently navigating?
Despite all of the above, there are ways to claim some happiness for yourself
Partner and Share
Research has repeatedly found that married couples have higher levels of happiness than unmarried individuals. It’s a result of the sense of partnership, sharing, doing things together and having common values. If you are married look for ways to connect more often, laugh and find free time together. Let go of the little stuff.
That doesn’t mean that single folks aren’t happy. Look for friends who like to do the same things you do and spend time with them! Happiness is there for everyone. It’s an inside out work in progress.
Children: Providing a Leg Up on the Happiness Ladder?
Here is the skinny on that one. In her article, The Parenting Paradox, Brenda Luscombe says after the excitement and celebration of having a baby, the parenting reality kicks in full force with the labor intensive, sleep-deprived task of caring for a little one.
When sleep hasn’t clouded a new parent’s brain, the realization is that it will cost them a half a million dollars to raise their precious bundle. And when they are finished raising this child, “they leave”. For some, this reality of their offspring living their own lives results in a lonely season of life.
Is this happiness?
In her book, All the Joy and None of the Fun, Jennifer Senior says, “Mothering and Fathering aren’t just about the things we do. Being a mother or being a father is who we are”. The research leans in favor of people with children who embrace parenting as being happier. This leads us to believe it really is what you bring as a person to the parenting unit and how genuinely happy you are with yourself. The happier you are as a parent, the happier your children will be.
A happiness hint for parents with children of any age. “A parent’s first job is not to raise kids but to enjoy them.” ~ Time Special Edition, The Science of Happiness-The Parenting Parado
Finding the Happiness Within
Remember your ceiling is invisible. And in a world that is uncertain and at times violent is it important to find a place within of peace and inner happiness? Remember your ceiling is invisible. Truly, that is the only place you will find it. Happiness can’t be provided by the outside world. There is no magic pill, potion or outside source for being healthier, richer, or better than the next person. When you look inside, you will find that your inner compass is the only one you need to follow for living a life of more joy and well-being.
Everyone can cultivate happiness. You can break through your happiness ceiling whether you are single, married, divorced, parents or grandparents. This doesn’t mean you ignore your feelings. It’s important to recognize your feelings of distress, anxiety, anger or depression, which are contrary to feeling joy and happiness.
As you acknowledge your beliefs and worries you can shift your focus towards something different. It’s all about focus. You can’t be grateful and worry at the same time. There are practical ways you can foster a stronger sense of well-being and ultimately inner happiness and joy. (Happily grateful)
“Life-It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis”
~Margaret Wander Bonanno
You may already be doing some things that create inner happiness. But let me suggest a few ideas to a bolster your happiness level and those close to you, including your children.
Raise Your Happiness Ceiling
Focus on the Positive
- Always, always, always find things to be grateful for in your life. Even something as simple as getting home safely at the end of the day.
- Celebrate and use your gifts instead of focusing on what you perceive as your ”imperfections” or mistakes.
- Be generous to yourself and purchase “an experience” rather than purchasing a material item.
- Find a moment for a random act of kindness or generosity to someone you know rather than for a stranger.
- Try to get an “outside” perspective of a challenging situation and draw out the “gifts” from that experience. Be grateful for it.
- On social media: limit your exposure to or edit the posts that are anxiety or fear producing. Choose posts that are uplifting and positive to post and read.
Focus on Deliberate Ways to Create Happiness in your Life
- Know what makes you happy and put it into your schedule. If you don’t schedule it, it won’t happen.
- Take care of yourself with a simple pleasure.
- Cultivate 10-20 minutes of regular “quiet” or meditative time each day.
- What can you do to change a challenging situation that would be uplifting? It may be a prayer, taking an action step or doing nothing but realizing it isn’t about you. Be the observer.
- Unplug from the outside world (TV, electronics, social media, etc. and be present in the moment. Enjoy who and what you are being present with, knowing everything will be there when you plug back in.
- Make every Sunday fun day.
- Go off the grid periodically. Go away and leave your electronics on silent.
- Make happiness your goal in how you live your life. Do whatever reminds you to be happy each day.
Diswas-Diener says, “Don’t fit joyful activities into your day – fit your days around joyful activities. Do you ever hear devoted church attendees say ’Can we reschedule church because something came up?’ You need to have that church mentality about whatever it is that gives you pleasure. If you say your weeks are full, find that next blank spot in our calendar.” This is what happy people do.
I used to love to swing… and it still makes me happy.
What will you choose to make you happy? Remember everyone around you benefits when you are happy. Post and let us know as will uplift those who read this!
Breaking through the happiness glass ceiling,
Bonnie
P.S. For Kids try a boost of happiness with a sample of Angel Violet’s Magic Cards on the side panel!
P.P.S. To break your happiness ceiling go to The Natural Path toHappiness
But the truth is, when you think about anything, even something you worry about, you focus on it and you ponder on it. When you do that, you are “mediating” on an idea. 