Great Expectations

L-Love yourself

I-Illuminate the true spirit of holidays

G-Give the gift of love to yourself and others

H-Honest appraisal of how you feel and what’s going on

T-Trust your inner knowing to guide you

In the middle of this holiday season how are you feeling? Are you having wonderful moments of LIGHT and joy or feeling a bit overwhelmed?

Part of LIGHTening up is being honest with yourself checking in and seeing how you feel about what is going on around you. It’s really important to stop, listen to your inner guidance and hold your expectations of yourself and others with lightness. Re-evaluate and be flexible. Be gentle with yourself as this is also a season when many humans transition into their angel form or you may have memories of those leaving the earth during this time.

An honest appraisal of how you feel, giving yourself the room to feel your feelings and to be LIGHT, will make a difference in how you continue to move through the holidays. It’s not too late to make a change so life is less hectic. Or to add something that gives YOU joy!

Read how my guest blogger found a way to completely shift her holiday expectations and her family traditions with a kazoo.

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The sounds of the house drifts up the stairs to my office as I write, punctuated by the dog’s barking at holiday deliveries and guests arriving at neighbors’ homes. I hear my husband on his computer, catching up on something or other from work, but it’s the laughter and holiday music that catches my attention underlying all of the other sounds. Our now-grown children are unpacking the Christmas decorations and figuring out how to place the lights on the tree.

This is the first time I’m not decorating. While always a labor of love, the holidays were an incredible amount of work. I’d inflicted a lot of pressure on myself to make them perfect. Creating happy memories for our children was my mission and I took it seriously. Maintaining the expectations I’d established became more challenging with each passing year, as life became more complex. The kids became involved in extracurricular activities and went away to school. I found myself with less time or interest in doing what had once given me such joy.

My life had also taken its own twists and turns. With immersion in holistic studies and opening my own practice, it seemed less important to have the porch lights up for the holiday season than it did to help others navigate their way through the maze of expectations and stresses that stirred in us all. For a few years, both Cesca and Zack returned home for the holidays, and then were off to school again. Decorating was done, but the rest fell to a bare minimum; it was the time spent together that was more closely treasured.

Now adults, both Francesca and Zack are back home. Everyone had been on their own, making decisions and caring for themselves. With four adults in the house, I no longer wanted to be solely responsible for everything. After some adjusting, we worked out the details of cooking and cleaning. My expecting everyone to act as responsible adults created the opportunity for them to show up that way. We now share equally in the care of the house.

Still, there was the matter of the holidays; I was dreading them. Last year I came down with the flu midway through December. The decorating fell to my husband and kids, all scrambling to fit it into their schedules. I was well enough to cook by the time Christmas Eve arrived, and we managed to celebrate with all of our traditions intact.

As the season approached this year, I realized that what had once been a labor of love now felt like a burden. Sharing how I felt with my family, I was surprised to learn that Cesca and Zack were excited by my lack of enthusiasm. It turned out that they wanted to decorate! We all agreed that it was time to change things up; what we’d done before were traditions of their childhood. After an honest appraisal of how I felt, I’ve let go of expectations of ‘how things are done’ to maintain our family’s traditions, giving them the freedom to be as creative as they wanted with the memories of their childhood.

Letting our kids know they were free to decorate and celebrate any way they decide leaves me free to enjoy the season, and them, more than I have in a while. We’re making new memories remaining flexible as our lives change with each passing year. It’s our loving memories we hold dear regardless of where they, and we, end up. I’m looking forward to seeing what they create.

No longer having a holiday ‘to do’ list, I’m also free to be more creative and playful than I have been in a long time.

Every year I’d suggest that we go caroling at the train station in town on the days leading up to Christmas, but no one would join me. Lack of time and a long list of things needing to be done trumped ‘fun’. There were a myriad of reasons, but the truth finally came out: no one knew all the lyrics to the songs. Not easily deterred, I began to buy metal kazoos whenever I came across them. When I proposed we do kazoo caroling this year as a new tradition, Cesca and Zack became excited. They could hum the holiday songs! And Len, always willing to laugh at himself and have some fun, agreed to join in bringing our holiday joy to our neighbors as they head home for their holiday celebration.

This December 22, we’ll be at the train station in town, bundled up in our warmest outerwear, humming ‘Jingle Bell Rock’. And we’re bringing lots of extra kazoos so anyone can join us in celebrating a truly jolly holiday.

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Donna Cerame is a Certified Practitioner with ten years of training and practice in alternative healing, including Matrix Energetics, Circle of Grace, and Reiki. Providing in person and phone sessions, Donna’s practice is based in Montclair, NJ. She can be reached at donna@artandsoulnj.com. You can read her blog at http://donnacerame.com/2014/11/02/unmasked/.